there are unwritten rules in this society that apparantly only SOME of us are following, and this photo (if i do say so myself) is a great example of the “people” who are not following these rules. Have a coffee man, eat a cracker,  MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME.

Giving this man the benefit of the doubt, he may have forgotten that he wasn’t in the privacy of his own home, or in a large open field, but I don’t give men the benefit of the doubt. I have seen this TOO MANY TIMES on the train here, watching their nasty man claw clippings fly by commuters feet and faces. does there really need to be a sign saying “don’t cut your fingernails on this public train?” how specific do we need to get? 

i need you to use “your mothers ass” when you jerk off in this disgusting bathroom on this construction site ok? find the desire to jerk off in that environment around all men, call your mother, jerk off, then when she arrives somehow use her ass. just use it

Can I just throw in a real quick something that has been bothering me lately?  Why are people always giving the baby the name of the father? Does anyone else find this creepy and/or crazy?  

Who is the one who carries that baby for 9 months with their swollen ass feet and acheing back? Who is the one that has that baby attached at the hip for the first few years? Who is the one that tends not to leave the child when they get too overwhelmed with the responsibility, or find a new romantic partner?  Where in that scenerio do we say “i’m going to name him after his father?”
I mean if the dad is great knock yourself out, seriously, but i really really hope that when you have a daughter next- you don’t hesitate for one second to name that girl after you. Name him after you too! Name THEM after you. I’m sure your name is beautiful.
Cuz like seriously- where are all the babies getting named after their mothers? I am sure there are some, I even know one- but I sure know a lot more juniors who are named after their fathers, and I am just wondering how this slipped in and became something so normal and unbalanced.
I mean, I actually know how. I just wanted to talk about it.

I was thinking of trying something different for 2012.  How many years can I really continue the angry dyke thing? In the end, it’s me who has to live with all these feelings and thoughts, so who am I really hurting? So I’ve decided to discontinue writing this blog, and maybe even give more men a chance.  Try and move forward with my feelings and experiences, and not just throw every new disgusting thing I see and hear onto the mountainous horror disgust pile that lives in my mind. I will let things slide from now on, and treat every man as though he is not a man, but coincidentally a person doing selfish, shitty things. 

Just kidding. 

We all know the reasons that could never happen- and most of it being it’s actually not me who is doing anything. I’ll stop when things change.  Because I sure know I am definitely not making these things up.  Being angry isn’t a choice actually, not when you are getting dumped on and treated like some sort of servant clown all the time. 

So I will continue to look forward to the day where my writing will be considered dated. When things will actually have changed for women and queers and men will have finally showed up to their decency and not being nasty 101 class.  Until then- TTYL.

happy new year

At work a few weeks ago, I was told to build a soffit in the same room as my least favorite sexist. We were working within earshot of each other, which always preemptively embarrasses me on his behalf, and I left my headphones on hoping this would be at least a signal of some sort.  After five or so minutes, I inevitably ended up in yet another annoying and boring conversation about his oh-so-interesting hunting stories. As the resentment towards his self centeredness began to bleed from my soul I finally said to him: 

“hey, so why do you think you’re so obsessed with killing things? you’ve been talking about ‘shooting the arrow through the buck’ since summer of last year, more or less everyday, and none of us hunt, so i was just wondering like what do you think makes you so crazy about it?  That you always want to talk about it, even when you’re not hunting or around hunters?”  

He repeated my question back to me, which is something i noticed he often does which i have since attributed to some kind of fake thinking, and he responded

” i don’t know! don’t ask me questions like that OK?”

After a moment his defensiveness set in, and he asked me in a fake interested tone “well what are your interests.”  When guys like this ask me questions like that I always feel kind of weird and dirty. Because I know it’s not comfortable for them, and I know it’s definitely not what i want to talk about. It’s like two gays at a sadie hawkins dance; just going through the motions. 

I told him “I don’t really know…” but what i meant to say is “you won’t really know what i’m talking about” “but if i had to say something, I guess I’m into music and politics.”  

“oh politics? so what do you think of our president?” 

Knowing where this was going, I started to talk in some weird interpretative circle until I was predictably interrupted by him. 

“I don’t think a woman could ever be president”

Here we go.

In my mind i thought “oh yeah you mentally deformed asshole who can’t even hold a conversation involving any facts that have existed in any book in any language since the beginning of time? Is that your informed opinion?”

But out loud i said “Wow, that’s really crazy.  What exactly do you think it is about women that would make them unable to perform the job of president?”

“Hahaha I knew you were going to respond like this! This is why I said it! (fake laugh fake laugh) It’s just what I think, it’s my opinion.”

To which i replied “yeah, you totally seem like the kind of guy that would think something like that”

“What is that supposed to mean ‘i am the kind of guy to think that?’ I am getting really offended by that”

And so it went. 

I learned quite a bit of never before heard information from this guy (let’s call them new releases), like how women weren’t capable of making quick decisions, they just can’t. Which at least I know is 100% true.  It’s also just a fact that the government is set up in a way that you are able to- HAVE TO- make really really fast decisions. It’s the motto of the oval office: “think fast.”  Just like hunting.  Just like all the greats. 

For instance, when you meet a prime minister from another country, it takes the grace and wits of a man to respond to an extended arm and understand that someone is asking you to shake their hand.  Like I just couldn’t come up with that stuff without male guidance. And that’s the kind of speed we are talking about here. man speed.

Now that’s enough, we both know the government is not set up for any sort of hasty or efficient anything. The president’s personality profile isn’t supposed to be impulsive or reactive.  And guess what? If it was- guess who I wouldn’t want in there?  A man.  

So I kept pressing the hunter “so what is it about women, you know when we’re born and stuff, that doesn’t bestow the gift of quick decisions upon us?  What is it about us that just can’t take us there?”

As per usual, because I have my own opinion and am not just sitting there like a microphone enhancing all that my male coworkers have to say, the conversation escalated to him yelling and making a scene, saying he “can’t talk to me about anything” and how he “is not a sexist or racist, so don’t even try and call me that like someone tried to call me the other day”  ??

When I could get a word in through all the yelling and theatrics the quick reacting hunter hurdled my way, I tried explaining to him that he is actually just wrong. Again. He is totally sexist, and what he is saying is totally sexist, and he doesn’t get to tell me something totally absurd and offensive about my gender,  and then tell me how i get to label him or respond to it. You don’t get to not be sexist because you tell other people you aren’t. 

Describing women as innately inferior intellectually and skill wise to men is not only totally wrong, it’s embarrassingly absurd.  And it’s sexist. It’s not an opinion, it’s sexism, and it comes from a place of fear.  Because if a women was president, not only would men have to go to sleep at night knowing that a woman was in charge, but that a woman was also the most qualified person for the job.  The job of a leader. And instead of allowing that to be the simple truth, it would never be separated from how that relates to men.  A woman could never just be great at what she does, it would be an issue of why a man wasn’t better. Instead of just understanding that not everything comes back to men. 

Some other weird guys on the floor heard the yelling back and forth and tried to jump in the conversation.

“I think he’s right but you know why?”

“nope, and i don’t want to know why. Because the beginning of your sentence automatically shows me what you are about to say makes no sense”

“I hope hillary gets in”

“A democrat should never be president!”

It goes on and on.  My hunter tried to fix whatever disaster he knew he began after he blamed the argument on me and “how i always get.” He finished by saying “I guess I shouldn’t have said can’t, that she couldn’t be president- but that i don’t think she should”

yeah, I know that’s what you meant. 

ugh, this is super embarassing but someone snapped a photo of me sleeping on the train the other night and i was like ” wha! this is so cra..” 

oh wait. that’s not me.

this blog might slowly turn into a social commentary blog instead of the usual “my life is totally insane” one, because aside from the train, I have very limited interactions with men on a daily basis (praise jesus) now as i am now working alone on my site.

I was listening to NPR at work on my headphones and heard them mention this disgusting thing about what an IKEA in Sydney, Australia is doing, to lend yet another accomodating and unneccesary hand to men to make their day to day even easier (we all know they just need it!). I mean, I know at least when I think of men, i think “underserved.”  Anyway, IKEA created some man day care room for women to drop off their lazy ass selfish husbands where they give out free hot dogs and rattles and baby blankets (not really but this is what I see in my mind) while the women get to trudge through freaky IKEA by themselves, shopping for THEIR collective home alone, while this baby man gets to play with his new baby friends and lounge in this man only area.  This of course makes total sense because we all know that as women the second we step foot into confusing IKEA the orgasms begin, because as women we all love to shop in crowded, huge, confusing stores alone.  God only knows how I have laughed with hysterical joy when I see the crazy long check out lines, and immediately start celebrating when I see that weird order form sheet you have to fill out when you have to buy something in the store that you are already in. The women are also given this weird baby buzzer thing that alerts them to pick up their man when they are done shopping.  Cuz you know how our memories are so bad and stuff.

umm, i’m sorry but where is the “women land” room IKEA? you know, the one where women get to see a free therapist to talk about being married to men who claim some sort of “head of household birthright” and insist on having some authority in every situation yet dually want to be treated as some incompetant adult who needs constant coddling? The room that has mattresses and couches for women to sit/lay on while they have menstrual cramps, free tampon dispensors, and a masseus who helps out with their sore back from carrying around babies all day? perhaps they didn’t have the money to set up two rooms, or even a third room for the “I fucking hate IKEA” person being dragged to the store.  

Why is society so obsessed with the well being of men? men’s hair loss, men’s erections, men’s sex drive- like hello- men are doing really well.  Last time I checked they were running almost every country on the planet, making laws that are often oppressive to women, queer and trans people, and abortion is literally still on the table in the UNITED STATES.  I want some women only spaces.  And FYI- I would also like men to not be allowed on the streets at night in groups of 2 or more (unless they are gay or accompanied by several women).

Turkey finally got my memo when recently they banned ALL MEN from attending their professional soccer games because they couldn’t stop acting like idiots and fighting during the games-forgetting entirely that they are actually spectators, and not actually playing the game.  So 41,000 women turned out to support the team, cheering for both teams, NOT acting like psychopaths, and creating an environment that was described as “such a fun and pleasant atmosphere.” 

Sometimes you have to recognise that you don’t have a fan problem, you have a man problem.

so this seems fair.  you can go and see a movie about a women who is the usual- angry and hysterical and i guess has no mirrors, or you can check out a ‘dayinthelife of men.’ naked men with their weird collection of upside down leg bouqets.

I think this kind of advertising is really good, because it’s so accurate and speaks for so many people. 

right.

I have decided to celebrate this man.  This guy was like 6 foot 5 and sat down next to me on the train the other day.  As you can see from the size difference between my leg and his (although I am EXTREMELY MUSCULAR), this guy could have easily said to himself “i’m just so big. me and my dick are just TOO big to make ourselves small, ” but instead he was thoughtful and kept his leg to himself and his shoulders not sprawled out all over me.  So I decided that this is a day of celebration.  Don’t get me wrong, I literally have hundreds of photos of men doing the exact opposite, but when I saw this unicorn I snapped a photo and wanted to share it as an example of how it could be.